


tell her you love her

by cadyjanis



Series: cadnis [2]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Anxiety, Awkwardness, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Dates, Fluff, Holding Hands, Kissing, Romance, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 09:43:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15927839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadyjanis/pseuds/cadyjanis
Summary: janis jogs to cady’s car and slides into the passenger’s seat. “hello,” she says, leaning over to peck cady on the cheek. “you look great.”“thanks,” cady squeaks. “um, so do you.”—cady and janis go out on a date for the first time.





	tell her you love her

**Author's Note:**

> cranked this out and figured i’d post before my big cadnis fic starts on the 22nd! (which i’m super excited for hbfnjfdfh)
> 
> thank y’all for the love on breaking point, i hope you guys enjoy this lil oneshot mwah

Cady went to school today with every intention of asking Janis out on a date. Now she’s not so sure if she can do it.

 

She’s been hesitating outside the art room for ten minutes, pacing back and forth as she debates whether or not to go through with it. What if Janis says no? That would be the worst that could happen. What if Janis misinterprets what Cady’s trying to say and assumes Damian is going with them? That’d be awkward to correct.

 

What if Cady forgets what she’s going to say and just stares at Janis until Janis gets so freaked out she hits her over the head with a stool? Okay, that’s weirdly specific, not to mention uncharacteristic for Janis. She’d probably paint Cady’s face while she’s catatonic.

 

Maybe Cady should’ve written down what she wants to say and rehearsed it. Yeah, okay, that’s a better idea. She’ll do that then try again tomorrow.

 

She’s hurrying away when the art room door opens and she hears her name being called, Janis’s voice delicate with surprise that Cady’s still here. Cady almost trips on her own shadow, then spins around to reluctantly acknowledge her friend.

 

“Hi,” Cady says uncomfortably, forcing herself to walk back over. Backpack on her shoulder, Janis shuts the door behind her, then comes to meet her halfway. Cady doesn’t have a spontaneous explanation as to why she’s hanging around when school ended forty-five minutes ago. _Shit, shit, shit._

 

“What’re you still doing here?” Janis asks, brow furrowed as she takes in Cady’s body language.

 

“Uhm—I was—” Cady glances at a poster on the wall for inspiration. “Um, I was talking to Taylor Wedell about the—the bird-watching nature group thing she started. While I waited for you. I would’ve, uh, kept you company but I know you like to, um, paint alone.”

 

Janis doesn’t look like she buys it, but evidently isn’t going to argue. “Oh. Well, not all the time. I wouldn’t have minded if you hung out with me.”

 

That makes Cady’s heart burst with elation. “Oh. Cool. I, uh, I might tomorrow, then.”

 

“Yeah.” Janis grins and punches her playfully on the arm. “C’mon, Damian said him and his friends were singing ABBA songs today.”

 

Janis innocently slips her hand into Cady’s as they’re walking to the auditorium, and it feels different now that Cady’s planning on asking her out. She manages to keep her cool, though, despite the fact she’s screaming internally. Janis’s hand is soft.

 

Cady wishes the hand-holding meant more than it did, and she hopes Janis wants it to change, too.

 

* * *

 

_Okay, Cady. You can do this. Just go in there and ask her out. If she says no, run away and go back to Kenya. Okay. You got this._

 

Cady takes a deep breath and opens the art room door, instantly grabbing Janis’s attention. Janis smiles, delighted to see her as always, and Cady’s stomach flip flops like crazy. Janis is so cute—not just when she smiles that smile she saves just for Cady, but how happy she is to see her friends.

 

“Hey. Come look at this.” Janis beckons her with a paintbrush and Cady goes to see what she’s working on. Cady gasps when she recognizes the golden retriever puppy in the painting—it’s the Heron’s new dog, Harley. She was Cady’s birthday gift this summer.

 

“My baby,” Cady coos, hands over her heart. “Oh, Janis, I love it.”

 

Janis beams. “I’m glad. She’s the cutest thing ever. I wish I had a dog.”

 

“You’re always welcome to come play with her,” Cady tells her sincerely, bringing over a stool so she can sit. “There’s an upcoming space exhibition my parents want to go to next month, I’ll ask if you and Damian can dogsit while we’re gone.”

 

Janis’s eyes get big with enthusiasm. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Please. Oh my God. I want to take more selfies with her.”

 

Cady giggles. “Well, there you go. She misses her Auntie Janis.”

 

Janis hums contentedly at the title and continues working on the painting. Cady falls quiet, heart skipping when she remembers what she’s here for. She practiced last night and this morning in the mirror, but now that she’s actually about to do it she still isn’t sure if she can. She doesn’t want to make things awkward between her and Janis if the other girl declines—which she’s well within her right to and honestly, Cady wouldn’t blame her—but she has to at least try.

 

She must have a solemn look on her face because Janis is asking if she’s alright, jolting her back to the present. “Oh, yeah,” she says, immediately aware her voice sounds off all of a sudden. Janis arches an eyebrow but smiles doubtfully, coaxing Cady to tell the truth.

 

_It's now or never,_ Cady remembers, rubbing her neck anxiously.

 

“Er, okay. Um.” She fidgets on her stool, wishing she could fast forward to five minutes from now. “First of all, I wasn’t still here yesterday because I was talking to Taylor or even waiting to see Damian. I was, uh… _going_ to talk to you about something but then I panicked and decided it wasn’t the right time, so when I went home I rehearsed it so I could be prepared today, but now I _still_ don’t know if I’m prepared—”

 

“Caddy,” Janis interrupts gently, putting her brush and palette down. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, just say it. It’s just me.”

 

Yeah, that’s the problem. Cady bites her cheek, forgetting her mini script. Well, shit. Now she has to go off-book and hope for the best.

 

She takes another deep breath and says, “Okay, um. There’s no pressure whatsoever to say yes or anything, but don’t say yes because you feel bad for me, say no if that’s how you really feel. Um—okay—Janis, I was wondering if, um, maybe you’d wanna…I don’t know…go out sometime. With me.”

 

Well, it’s out there. She feels she did horribly but hey, she did it.

 

Janis is staring with a mildly amused yet affectionate look on her face. “Like…a date?” she wonders.

 

Cady can’t meet her eyes. Her big, beautiful brown eyes that make Cady’s knees weak if she meets them for too long. Cady bites her lip now, contemplating if she can pass it off as a friend-date instead of what she actually wants it to be: a real, genuine date with her crush.

 

“Um—yeah,” Cady ultimately confirms, figuring Janis wouldn’t believe her anyway if she insisted it’d be a “just friends” type of thing. “A—a date. If that’s—you know, if that’s okay with you, if you want it to be a date. It doesn’t have to be like that—”

 

“Caddy,” Janis repeats, firmer now, “stop. Yeah, I want it to be like that. I’ll go on a date with you. Where’d you plan on going?”

 

Cady is so shell-shocked she can’t speak for a moment. “Uhm—nowhere. I didn’t plan past you saying yes.”

 

Janis laughs. “You’re cute. Of course I’ll say yes. Is Friday okay?”

 

“Yeah, that’s—perfect,” Cady says, feeling breathless and a little dizzy but also stunned and excited and disbelieving all at once. She’s glad she’s sitting or else she’d be on the floor right now. “Um—okay. Friday. I’ll, um, look up places where we can go, or you can pick, I don’t care. Um. Okay.”

 

Exhaling nervously, she looks down at her hands, shaking slightly in her lap. “Okay, I should, uh, I should go,” she says abruptly, sliding off onto wobbly legs and heading to the door without looking back. “I’ll text you. Or call you. Or whatever. Yeah. Friday! Grool. Bye.”

 

The last thing she sees before closing the door is Janis waving. She marches down the halls to the front of the school, her legs carrying her robotically. Her heartbeat thuds in her ears like the hooves of galloping zebras and she has the same fluttery feeling in her stomach she got the first time she rode an elephant. She is beginning to smile as she steps out into the late afternoon, greeted by the sun and feeling like it, too.

 

* * *

 

Friday rolls around faster than anticipated, and Cady is impressed she and Janis have kept their date a secret from Damian for two days. He hasn’t suspected anything has changed, and perhaps nothing is going to just yet. But Cady is electrifyingly aware of Janis’s presence now, and Janis grins at her more.

 

Cady drives to Janis’s house that evening, hoping her outfit and hair and makeup are okay. She tried hard to make it _not_ seem like she tried even though she totally did. It’s not uncommon for Cady to want to look good for Janis, just because she craves Janis’s compliments about whatever she did with her hair or what shirt she’s wearing, but it feels different today. She’s dressed up for a date. With Janis. She’s going on a date with Janis.

 

She’s about to exit the car to knock on the door when Janis beats her to it, stepping out onto her porch and locking it behind her. Cady chokes on air when she sees her—it isn’t every day Janis wears a dress of some kind, so Cady is flattered tonight was important enough to warrant one. She looks beautiful, a black leather jacket over her blue patterned dress, combat boots still clad on her feet. Her ombré hair is braided over her shoulder. Cady can’t catch her breath.

 

Janis jogs to Cady’s car and slides into the passenger’s seat. “Hello,” she says, leaning over to peck Cady on the cheek. “You look great.”

 

“Thanks,” Cady squeaks. _Jesus. Get your shit together._ “Um, so do you.”

 

Janis blushes, buckling her seatbelt. “Thank you. Are you sure I’m not too fancy for where we’re going?”

 

Cady shakes her head. “No, not at all. It wouldn’t matter if you were.”

 

Janis smiles self-consciously, but seems comforted. They decided on a burger joint downtown that they both agreed would be worth it solely for the milkshakes. Cady thinks Janis could wear an extravagant ball gown and still be dressed appropriately, because it shouldn’t matter.

 

The atmosphere in the car shifts compared to the last time they were alone in it together, but it’s not a bad thing. Janis searches for the right radio station til a song they both like comes on, and she takes a video of Cady jamming to it while they’re at a stop light. Their energy is the same, and Cady only remembers they’re on a date every several minutes. Her heart leaps into her throat every time, trying to find balance in their silly friendship and the aura of borderline romantic tension.

 

It occurs to Cady halfway there that Janis said yes because she likes her back. Cady has had a crush on Janis for ages, but doesn’t know how much Janis feels for her. It’s exhilarating and terrifying, realizing something good is unfolding here.

 

She finds a spot in a parking garage and Janis meets her around the back of the car to take her hand. It’s instinct, wanting to touch Cady, to always be connected. She is a physically affectionate person and was even before today—but something about holding hands now makes Cady’s insides collapse. It actually makes her nervous because they’re in public where anyone could pick up on their vibes and say something. Cady hadn’t considered that.

 

They’re just kids. They’re seventeen, and while Janis has experienced ostracization and prejudice, that was in school. Neither of them are prepared for what some intolerant asshole could say if it’s as obvious as Cady thinks that they’re…sort of together. She gulps, squeezing Janis’s hand. She doesn’t want this day to be ruined and also doesn’t want to end up in the ER if bad goes to worse. The first fists to fly will definitely be Janis’s.

 

They make it to the restaurant without a problem, and Cady sighs with relief. The hostess doesn’t so much as take a second glance at their still-entwined hands, and maybe refusing to let go is an ironic act of resistance within itself. Janis appears glad the lady didn’t say anything, too. At least Cady wasn’t alone in overthinking.

 

Perhaps Cady was thinking this was all a fever dream of some sort, because it really hits her that this is happening once they’re seated in a booth across from each other. It jars her, looking at Janis through the charmed eyes of somebody on a first date. Janis looks so, so pretty and her smile is so sweet and Cady feels like lava cake, where her insides are melting but in a positive way. She wants to always feel like this.

 

“Sooo, um,” Janis murmurs, drumming her nails on her menu, “Jesus, these burgers are big… Um. Thanks for asking me out.”

 

Cady blushes, hiding behind her menu. “Yeah. No problem.”

 

Which probably isn’t the right answer but she still feels obligated to keep things casual. It’s hard enough trying not be self-conscious over the fact they’re two girls on a date—continuously remembering they’re _on_ a date and having asked Janis out with the intention of it being a _romantic gesture_ is harder.

 

Janis taps on Cady’s menu, where she’s effectively hidden from view. “Hey. Are you okay?”

 

Janis sounds amused, but concerned under her laughing tone. Cady knows she can be honest with her, and there’s no shame in feeling awkward. “I just—are you sure this is okay?” she implores, lowering her menu to give Janis an apologetic look.

 

Janis blinks at her for a second, confused. “Is what okay?” she asks. “You asking me out on a date?”

 

Cady nods, fidgeting uncomfortably. She’s positive Janis wouldn’t have said yes out of pity like she begged her not to, but you never know. Janis is kind and has learned to give people the benefit of the doubt. But she definitely would not have accepted just to make Cady feel stupid.

 

Janis’s expression turns soft and sympathetic. “Do you wanna go home?”

 

“What? No.” Cady shakes her head quickly. “No, I just—this is awkward. You’re not awkward, I am, and I’m kind of freaking out on the inside because I have never been on a date before, especially not with someone I like, and it’s just weird because you’re my best friend and I don’t wanna complicate things for us and now as I’m sitting here I’m realizing how freaking scared I am because, what the hell, we’re on a _date_ —”

 

“Caddy, Caddy,” Janis interrupts, putting her menu down in favor of grabbing Cady’s hands. “It’s okay. Just breathe. Breathe, you look like you’re gonna pass out.” So Cady lays her head on the table, blocking out the light, and Janis squeezes her hands. Cady’s grateful they’re all the way in the back with no one nearby.

 

“You’re okay,” Janis continues caringly. “You aren’t awkward. It’s okay that you’re nervous, but you’re not awkward. And you’re not complicating things. Honestly, I’ve been wanting to go on a date for a long time, but I was just too shy to ask you. And I…wasn’t sure if you liked me in that way.” Her smile twists into something precious and timid. “So when you asked me out, I was relieved. And I’m nervous, too. But I’m really happy that we’re here.”

 

Sitting up, Cady relaxes as she listens to Janis, then giggles bashfully at Janis’s confession. “You…wanted to go on a date, too?”

 

Janis nods, eyes wide. “Uh-huh. But I’m useless. Around you, specifically.”

 

Cady gapes at her, lips parted. That’s how she feels when she’s with Janis, at least as of late. Once she came to terms with how she actually has a crush on her, it became difficult pretending everything was the same. Now she knows Janis felt similarly, and doesn’t feel as stupid as she previously thought.

 

“Grool,” Cady eventually whispers, and finds her smile again.

 

“But yeah, don’t feel awkward,” Janis murmurs, shaking her head. “This is fun.”

 

She kisses Cady’s knuckles before letting go of her hands, and Cady settles back into her seat with her menu, blushing furiously but feeling more confident than before. It’s strangely comforting to know Janis gets nervous around her, too. She doesn’t get why, but it’s helpful.

 

They indulge themselves in juicy burgers and then milkshakes for dessert, and it’s so much easier to breathe now that Cady knows they’re on the same page. Sometimes it is way easier to lay your emotions out on the table then keep them bottled up.

 

Janis takes her hand again as they’re leaving the restaurant and Cady discovers she’s not afraid of it anymore. They wander through downtown as stars begin to appear on the purpling canvas of the sky, the city sidewalks illuminated by store signs and twinkle lights strung overhead. Nobody even sees them holding hands, like they’re invisible. Cady feels oddly safe all of a sudden, like nothing bad could possibly happen with Janis by her side. Everything is okay now.

 

Despite how full they are from dinner, they squeeze in room for frozen yogurt. Janis tops hers with gummy worms and Cady steals a few as they eat on a bench outside the shop. Typically Janis is very protective of her candy, but doesn’t even fuss. That’s true love.

 

Cady scoots closer to Janis when a cool breeze rolls in, resting her head on her shoulder. They fall silent and people-watch for a bit, enjoying each other’s company. When their yogurt is gone and Janis returns from throwing their cups away, Cady pulls out her phone to take selfies before the last of the daylight completely fades away. Janis—who is not usually a selfie-oriented person—has fun with it, and Cady has a moment of bravery where she photographs kissing Janis’s cheek. Janis retaliates and does the same, to Cady’s delight, and the urge to kiss Janis on the mouth is overwhelming. But she’s still hesitant to risk it.

 

They walk back to Cady’s car laughing over something that happened in health class the other day. Their laughter is the same, and so is the humor. Cady doesn’t think that will change much. They’re still friends—no matter what, they’ll always be friends. If they can survive and conquer Cady’s Plastic phase, they can handle anything. Cady has more faith in them now than she ever did, and is pretty sure Janis feels the same.

 

During the drive back to Janis’s house, it’s quiet in the car save for the softly playing radio. Janis thumbs through the pictures they took that Cady sent, and in her peripheral Cady can see she’s grinning. Neither of them forward anything to Damian just yet, wanting to savor the sweetness of whatever this is, keep it between them for a bit longer. Damian will be ecstatic (honestly, he’s probably shipped them for a while), but they deserve to navigate this with just each other. They’ll go on a couple more dates then tell him. It’s such a big thing—it’s as if words are insurmountable to describe this, like they exist in mere feelings.

 

Cady’s parents wanted her home by eight-thirty, so she reluctantly pulls into Janis’s driveway, startled at how quickly time passed. She can’t believe only three hours ago it felt like her heart was leaping out of her chest for anxiety-related reasons.

 

She walks Janis to her door, mimicking what those men do in every romance movie imaginable, her fingers linked with Janis’s. Standing on the small porch with her in awful lighting couldn’t be a better way to end the night, but then Janis’s hands are cupping Cady’s cheeks and gently tilting her chin up so she can bring their mouths together and Cady thinks to herself, _Oh, nevermind, it got even better_ quickly followed by _HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT._

 

It’s the gentlest, shortest kiss ever, but it leaves Cady breathless. She’s a tad stunned when she opens her eyes, but then they both grin and Cady stands on her tiptoes for another one, tugging on the front of Janis’s jacket. Janis kisses her back more intensely, like she was hoping Cady would take the hint.

 

Cady loses track of time but time means nothing, not when she’s in the arms of her favorite girl, tasting the universe in kiss after kiss. She doesn’t know how long they stand there in the growing cold, making up for lost time. But she’s so content it doesn’t matter.

 

Cady’s phone dings with a text, likely from her mother, finally coaxing them apart. Janis’s hands, now on her waist, remain where they are and Cady keeps one hand on her neck as she checks her phone. She sighs, apologizes to her mom and assures her she’s coming home, then slips her phone back into her jacket pocket. She rises onto her toes again and Janis laughs softly against her mouth, rubbing her back.

 

“You should go,” she sighs, bumping her nose to Cady’s. “Or else your mom’s gonna think I kidnapped you.”

 

Cady pouts. “Who cares what she thinks,” she mumbles, stealing another kiss, unable to stop.

 

“I do,” Janis argues good-naturedly. “Don’t want the cops showing up at my damn house, Caddy.”

 

Cady giggles, then forces herself to step back. “Okay, _fine_ ,” she concedes. “Um. I had fun. I—I love you.”

 

Saying it in the wake of all that makes her gut clench with anxiety, but then Janis is swooping in for one last kiss and whispering, “I love you, too,” when she pulls away and again, it feels like the right thing. It physically pains Cady to walk back to her car alone, and waits for Janis to disappear inside to exit the driveway.

 

Her smiling mouth tingles with the memory of Janis all the way home. She’s never felt so fearless.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are fetch ♡


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